The saying “a watched pot never boils” is a perfect analogy for someone who is trying too hard to manifest specific events and circumstances. It seems the more you check your results, look over your shoulder to see how things are coming, and so forth, the less ever happens.

Here’s a little tidbit many people have trouble talking about:

There is NO guarantee of any kind that your life will unfold in a manner consistent with what you think you want. And certainly there is ZERO guarantee that things will coordinate with your ego’s desired time line.

Am I saying all this talk about manifestation and attraction is bunk? Not at all; in fact I believe strongly in both, as the many articles on this blog should attest.

However the blueprint of individual has desire, sets intention, stays positive, and then enjoys visualized results is not 100% reliable. There are so many layers and levels of human consciousness that we can easily believe we want something when in fact we want something quite different.

I’m not even talking about self-sabotage or counter intentions here. I’m merely pointing out that we can sometimes get really hung up on a desire and think it’s what we really want out of life, when in fact our true self has other plans.

For this reason it’s best to have fun with your vision boards, goals lists, and manifestation exercises. avoid getting obsessive about any one goal and decide to allow the big picture to deliver what your higher mind really wants in the time frame that works best for the greater good.

It’s fine to want numerous very specific things, events, even people in your life. But be open to any possibilities, even ones that are completely different from what you think you want.

This is where the “or something better” affirmations come into play. Many teachers recommend adding the line “all this or something better” to the end of your vision sessions and/or daily goals affirmations.

The idea is to accept the fact that your ego mind is but a tiny portion of the big picture. There is a part of you so much bigger, smarter, and more powerful than the identity/personality field, and it’s this higher mind that is really calling the shots.

Trust that life conspires to serve you and to give you many wonderful blessings. But don’t get in a tizzy over the fine print and specific details.

For example, you may feel 100% certain you must have her. But months later you could end up with her sister and be extremely happy about the whole situation.

In this scenario did things go wrong? Not likely; your ego mind just got hung up on what it thought it needed while the universe (as always) proceeded to deliver what really served the greater good.

So to answer our question: Do watched pots boil or not?

Sometimes. And when they don’t it’s probably because the casserole dish in the oven was what you really wanted in the first place.

The magnitude of self-defeat in our society is astonishing. It’s a rampant problem that is seriously eroding human evolution and keeping our civilization decades behind where we should be technologically, spiritually, and intellectually.

The fact is, most people are completely unaware of their own self sabotage. An individual may realize he or she is an underachiever, but not understand the real cause of the issue.

People love playing the victim, pointing a finger at their parents, the government, the media, the economy, and so forth. But in truth we define our own destiny by how we feel and what we think.

It’s well-known that over 80% of all worldwide lottery winners return to a state of poverty within 24 months. Looking at this sad statistic, one is inclined to ridicule…

“Those idiots. Give me 1o million dollars and I’ll save and invest my way to 20 million!”

But while nearly everyone will say “YES” when asked if they’d like to be rich, the reality is quite another story. If you take an honest look around you’ll find people who are sick, tired, broke, lonely, and miserable for one core reason:

Because this is exactly how they wish to be!

I know this is hard to accept but it’s the truth. An extreme lack of honesty and self-awareness makes this level of self defeat seem impossible.

But people who are able to be honest with themselves soon discover they are indeed creating and perpetuating the very situations they claim to loathe. Here’s an example from my own life:

I used to be poor. And I mean dirt poor, never had a dollar in my pocket, always the broke guy in the group.

At one point I resigned myself to always be impoverished. I remember looking at friends who had cable, a computer, and an Xbox and sincerely wondering how on earth they managed to pull it off.

I said aloud to one of my buddies: “There’s just no way in hell I see myself ever being able to afford cable TV, a PC, and an Xbox system.”

We were discussing the finer points of online gaming and I was 100% convinced of the truth behind my admission. This is so bizarre when I think of it; I can’t even relate to the broken victim I was back then.

But here’s the really interesting bit…

When I decided I did want to have money, and that I was willing to work hard as an entrepreneur to get it, I came face to face with the intensity of my own self defeatism. I remember just thinking about my goals to attain large amounts of money, and how physically uncomfortable I got.

Just imagining a large sum of money made me sick to my stomach. My heart rate would go up and I felt extremely agitated for several minutes.

I didn’t notice all this at first, just as many people are unaware of their own self defeat symptoms. But when I began looking for evidence I was shocked by how obvious my ailment was.

I didn’t feel comfortable - at all - thinking about the drastic change plenty of money would have on my life. Struggle and lack were normal for me, and I knew how these felt. Shifting into a state of abundance was very different, even painful for me!

I really had to work to get past this. Part of what I did was to repeat strong money affirmations all day long. I would say things like:

“Money is good to me. Money loves me. It’s safe for me to have plenty of money. I’m thankful for all the money that comes to me from many sources. I always have more than enough money. I deserve to have plenty of money.”

I would repeat these statements day after day, and more importantly I put all my energy into believing them. I often tell people if I can have a profitable business anyone can because I was a complete train wreck in the areas of money consciousness and abundance mindset.

This article may be hard for some to understand. But it’s here for those people who have serious self-limitations they aren’t yet aware of.

If you just can’t seem to get right in one area of your life, despite your claims that you want the money, love, health, or whatever more than anything else in the world, you should read this piece again. If you feel awkward, irritated, even sick when you think about really having whatever it is you say you want, you may need to do some serious self analysis and clearing of your beliefs.

In addition to a good program of affirmations, I recommend meditation, the study of emotional freedom technique, complete immersion in self development books and audios, and even personal coaching. To shift from this kind of self defeat you need to stay alert in each moment and really give 100% of yourself to the process of change.

This takes some serious sustained thought. But once you get past the obstacle of your own self limitations you will be unstoppable.

I’m not a proponent of Christianity or other organized religions. But the concept behind the “Golden Rule” is quite sound.

I truly believe that when we heap goodness and blessings on others we are directly tending to our own wellbeing. When we give others exactly the kind of love and treatment we want for ourselves we set into motion a vibration that impacts not only the life of our recipient, but also our lives.

There truly is no scarcity. Letting someone else take the last piece of pie, giving a homeless man your last dollar, or letting a partner take credit for her part of the project without stepping in and tooting your own horn are all destined to benefit both giver and receiver.

When have you truly given from a center of love and not received back many times what you gave?

The media preaches scarcity and we often find it easy to buy this. We become scared of having too little or of the well running dry, so we start to horde our blessings.

This is exactly the opposite of what we should be doing.

And giving is about more than money and materials. We can do great good in the world by giving a smile, a hug, or loving thoughts.

Furthermore, as entrepreneurs we give by putting our hearts into our products and services. Yes we receive a fee in exchange for these gifts but because we labor in love the buyer is fully blessed by our efforts.

Giving makes the world go around. And giving is the ultimate source of abundance and satisfaction.